Saturday 18 December 2010

NEW THINGS

WE LOOK LIKE THIS NOW

WE SOUND LIKE THIS NOW Divorce - Love Attack by Andy Browntown

Hope you enjoy. See you in January =x=

Wednesday 1 December 2010

CHILD ABUSE AND DIVORCE: UK, JANUARY 2011

DATES FOR THE DIARY.
We're playing a bunch of shows with New York's ferocious Child Abuse in January 2011. They are absolutely not to be missed, they will fuck you up completely.

FRIDAY 21st: GLASGOW, Captains Rest
SATURDAY 22nd: NEWCASTLE, Head Of Steam
SUNDAY 23rd: MANCHESTER, Islington Mill
MONDAY 24th: LONDON, The Victoria

More info to follow, hope to see you at the crime-scene.

=x=

Friday 12 November 2010

NEWS

NOW:
New vocalist and new jams: say hello to Jennie Fulk.

NEXT:
recordings, releases, UK shows with New York's Child Abuse, January 2011

More news very very soon.
=x=

Wednesday 20 October 2010

CH CH CHANGES.....

It's never fun to have to break sad news but that's what we've gotta do.


It's with a heavy heart that we've gotta announce the departure of both Hillary and Sinead from Divorce. All that needs to be known is that they've left on amicable terms, we still love them very very much and wish them every success with their future plans, musical and otherwise (Hillary is carrying on with her Blood Of The Bull and Phat Trophies projects and Sinead has some exciting new things coming around the corner).


After much serious discussion, we have decided to carry on with Divorce. We're going to spend the forthcoming months working on a new set of songs and seeking out new partners in noise to work with. In the meantime we'll be lying low but hopefully it won't be for long.


D =x=

Sunday 10 October 2010

Charmicarmicat show 15

Vickie's radio show Charmicarmicat is back, abuse your ears HERE

//////////////

OH NO, Bouncer did a shit in the pool!

Sunday 3 October 2010

Friday 1 October 2010

Wednesday 29 September 2010

WOT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED,NO...WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?

GOT MY STAGE OUTFIT FOR TONITE......GOANIE TRY N LOSE TEN STONE IN THE VAN FROM BIRMINGHAM TO CARDIFF BY WORKING OUT LIKE A BITCH.....ID FUKING LOVE TO BE A PUMPKIN,SERIOUSLY,FOR REALZ.
NO,BUT WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?
OH,WAIT.....WE JUST GOT A HALF PAGE ADD IN VICE MAGAZINE..SELLING OUT AGAIN GUYS,ITS FINE METALLICA DID IT EVERY NITE!
BEST TOUR MATES EVER........SERIOUSLY,FUKING LOVE THESE CUNTS,SO MUCH SO I SLAM ELBOWED SIMON IN BED LAST NITE IN MY SLEEP,ALSO HIT AKIKO,SHE NOW HAS A BLACK EYE FOR THE FINAL GIG OF THE TOUR TONITE....THE WEDDING / THE DIVORCED SHOW.
WE GOT OUR RIDER BEFORE WE EVEN PLAYED IN CARDIFF,WHAT A MISTAKE....WE TANKED A BOTTLE OF JD AND 25 BEERS BEFORE EVEN PLAYING,I WAS SO FUKED I THOUGHT I WAS IN SLAYER......VICKIE ATE A WHOLE NANA CAKE AND 10 CANS OF RED BULL,SHE WAS OFF HER TITS N PLAYED WITH A PACKET OF BACON STRAPPED OVER HER SHOULDERS N BACK.
NO BUT SERIOUSLY,WAIT,....WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?
GIG WAS PRETTY ANGRY AND AGGRESSIVE,EVEN THOUGH THE CROWD WERE A BIT SUBDUED...I WAS READY TAE FUKING PUNCH VICKIE.
THE CROWD.....I MISS GLASGOW AND LONDON CROWDS AS THEY DO HUMAN PYRAMIDS,I GUESS IF PEOPLE HAVENT SEEN YU BEFORE IT MAYBE FEELS A BIT AWKWARD DOING FORWARD ROLLS N STAR JUMPS N SHIT....MAYBE SECOND VISIT EH?
SIMONS LOOKING KINNA HOT WITH HIS WEE BOW TIE....I REALLY NEED TO GET HOME TO MY BIRD,SPENDING EVERY NIGHT IN BED WITH SIMON I THINK I MAY BE TURNING STRAIGHT...FUCK THAT SHIT!!!!!!...I THINK AKIKOS GROSS THOUGH...ALSO,WE ARE NOT A LESBIAN BAND !
ANDY FUKING LOVES DOING MERCH,BOOZE,FAGS AND TOURING...OH AND BIG BOOBS!
SIMON LOOKING GOOD AGAIN..KEEX IS SORTA OKAY.
HILLARY TRYING TAE LICK THE SPLASHY DREGS OF JD OFF THE TABLE,WE RAN OUTTA BOOZE AND WERE GAGGING ON HAVING EVEN A WIFF OF ALCOHOL....TOTAL ALKIES.
JEN AND JOHN THE PROMOTERS....LOVELY FOLKS!
JENS NANNA,SHE MADE THE FUKING AMAZING CAKE AND IS A MEGA GWAR FAN.....SHE IS FUKING COOL!
AKIKO IS NEARLY AS BIG AS THE NANA CAKE.....SHES ARIGHT,SHES A MEGA D.P FAN...SHE EVEN HAS IT IN HER POSTCODE.
KBS ...MORE LIKE FUKING IBS.......KEEX WAS IN THE TOILET FOR AN HOUR THIS MORNING.....I STUCK TO NAAN SHISH SALAD THING.....I FEEL DEAD FRESH TODAY WITHOUT A SORE BUM.
FRESH,DEAD BURNY,FRESH.....
BIG CUP AND A BIG FINGER.
BIG CUP AND A BIG DOSE OF VALIUM.....MHHHHHHHEEEEELTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
SIMON IN BED READY TO HAVE A BIG WANK WITH HIS BIG HAND.
I SAW A CATERPILLAR IN MULL,IT LOOKED A BIT COLD BUT I THINK IT WAS OKAY.
SO...ITS FINALLY HERE....TONITE IS THE VERY LAST SHOW WITH COMANECHI IN THE MARRIAGE OF FILTH TOUR,I HOPE LOTS OF FOLK TURN UP....IT SHOULD BE A GOOD YIN,WE ARE ALL FEELING SLIGHTLY MENTAL ,I FEEL A BIT EMOTIONAL,ANDY HAS HAD A SHOWER,WE STILL HAVE A WEE AMOUNT OF MERCH YU HAVE TO BUY SO WE CAN GET HOME......I MAY EVEN SELL MASELF TO GET THE PETROL MONIES .......DIVORCE AND COMANECHI LOVE YOU ALL.....SEE YU TONITE.

Tuesday 28 September 2010

AH FUKING LOVE TOURING,BEER,BITCHES AND SLAYER!

BIRMINGHAM....WHAT A LOVELY CITY.
UNTIL DIVORCE ARRIVES!!!!!!
PURE NEEDED A WEE SPOON SO I DID,FEELING A BIT UPSET ON THIS TENTH DAY OF THE TOUR....DEAD EMOTIONAL GUYS,NEEDED A CUDDLE FAE A BEAUTIFUL LASSIE.
C'MON YA DAFT BITCH...ILL BUY YOU A SMIRNOFF ICE IF YOU COME IN THE PUB WITH ME.
AFTER SAYING TAE THE BAND , EH WATCH OUT FOR ANY COPS..TURN ROUND THE CORNER TO THE BIGGEST FUKING COP SHOP IVE EVER SEEN....REDUCING CRIME AND DISORDER!!!!!!
SINEAD HAS ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A POLICE WUMAN.
LOOK,MEAT WAGONS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE......
SIMONS SO FAR NEAR BREAKING POINT HE NEEDED DOUBLE ALE.
EVEN SINEAD NEEDED A WEE HALF.
VICKIE HAS ACTUALLY TURNED INTAE GAZZA NOW.
DONT WORRY JIM'LL FIX IT....FUCKING HOPE SO.
BURD IN THE BACKGROUND REMINDED ME OF SOMEONE.
BIG STONED PUPAE.
BIRMINGHAM GIG...APPARENTLY BLACK SABBATH PLAYED ON THE VERY SAME STAGE IN 77.
I CAME TO YOU ON BLOODY KNEES BENT DOUBLE WITH LOVE IN MY HEART.
SIMONS TAKING INFLUENCE FROM ALL THE METAL DOCUMENTARIES WE HAVE WATCHED IN THE VAN...NO MIDDLE EQ, ALL TOP N BOTTOM.....OH I LOVE A GUID BIT OF TOP AND BOTTOM.
THEY ALSO GOT A FUKING SMOKE MACHINE.....BASTARDS!!!!!
SUNNO)))....
SIMONO))))))))))...........
))0(( : POOPING BACK AND FORTH!!!!!!
TIME TRAVELLING BACK TAE 87 AGAIN......HEAVY METAL MUTHERFUKERS.
ACTUALLY FUCKING LOVE BROONTOON....WITHOUT HIM THIS TOUR WOULD'NAE HAVE HAPPENED...THANK YOU BROONTOON,WE LOVE YU HEN.
NOT AS MUCH AS I LOVE THIS SPECIAL LADY.
C'MON HEN......GET UP,WE NEED TAE GO HAME...FUKING PURE EMBARRASSMENT ,HAD TAE GET HER IN A TAXI,COST ME 50 QUID FINE COZ SHE JOBBIED HERSELF ON THE SEAT.
FINALLY GOT NEW VANS,THE STINKING ONES FUSED TO MA FEET SO HAD TO GET THEM SURGICALLY REMOVED,HAVE LEFT A BIG SORE.
IVE BEEN EATING THE DRESSING,ITS PRETTY TASTY ACTUALLY,.....HMMMMM SEPTIC PUSS WRAP.
CARDIFF TONITE...ALREADY AWESOME,ALTHOUGH WALKING THROUGH TOWN FEELS LIKE IM ON THE SET OF HOLLYOAKS...LADDAS BITCHES.